An open letter to the Blogger Blaster.
Man, I love you like a brother. A cross-eyed, tard brother who keeps peeing on the electric fence, but a brother none the less. I saw your comment that "Baptists are Baptists" in the comments on your post. Dude you are over 40 now. Young guys are starting to look to you for wisdom. You can't be leading them astray like this.
Baptists aren't all the same. There are some important differences, for instance:
If you want to go bass fishing and you are considering taking a Baptist friend along. In some cases you MUST invite another Baptist, from that guys church to come along with you. It's no good just to bring a second Baptist in this situation. You gotta find one from that particular church to tag along. Otherwise the first Baptist will drink all your beer and not pitch in to pay because its a sin to buy beer. If you bring someone from his church with you, they will watch each other to make sure they don't drink any beer. Added bonus: you will have someone to run the trolling motor while you drink the beer yourself.
I don't know how many times I've seen this scenario. You've got a bunch of buddies going to a football game. You got cokes, chips, the grill, brats and all the fixins in the back of the truck. It occurs to you that the thing that would hit the spot would be a bucket of chicken and there is a KFC on the way to the stadium. Ya gotta know your Baptist in this situation. As a non-Baptist you're thinking that with all the chow you got packed in the truck that your gonna have enough food for 12 or 13 guys and there's only 6 of ya'll going. But two of em are Baptists. Now you've a particularly challenging mathematical quandary. Do you need two buckets of chicken or three? Do you have to get a second bucket of extra crispy or extra sides?
Not all Baptists are created equal and you've got to know the difference. Take either one of the scenarios. What if you felt like stopping off at Hooters for some hot wings on your way home? You offer to get the check if your Baptist gets the tip. After staring at her boobs for two hours your Baptist leaves no tip because its a sin to temp men to lust. Next time you stop in you get stuck in the old lady "A" cup section and your wings are cold when you get them.
Man you gotta know your Baptists. It might not be life or death, but it can come back to haunt you if you don't handle it right.
*All of the above situations are real.